Selfies

Do you take selfies?   I think at some point or another we all have or do.

On my drive to work this morning there was a 20 something female in the vehicle behind me.  She took a selfie at every stop light.  With those duck lips or kissie faces.

WTF

Are the kids today that vain?  Self consumed? 


Side note...work dynamics are going to be changing again.  I won't be able to share for a few more weeks.  July is going to be crazy!

Hobbies

Do you have any hobbies? 

I do

I love to read, knit and kayak.

Interesting combination right!

The reading part isn't super interesting...I'm pretty sure lots of people read.  But not a lot of people knit, especially younger people.  Although I have seen a rise in younger people knitting.

I would love to knit on a kayak one day.  Then I can combine two loves.

I need a bigger kayak. 

Currently the one I have is an 8 foot kayak.  I'm 5'10" so my long legs don't fit that comfortably. 
I have plans to purchase a 10 foot one soon....that is as long as I can lift it on top of my SUV by myself. 

I am interested in the Pelican Mustang 100X kayak.  I'm pretty sure I can lift it and the name is awesome. 

The past two weekends we have been out on a lake.  Its so peaceful. 

I think I also need some kayaking buddies. 

My wife goes with me and enjoys it but she really just enjoys floating.   She doesn't seem to have much interest in actually going a distance on the lakes.  She also gets alittle freaked out if I go out of her site.  LOL  Kinda like a child going out of site of their parents. 

I am perfectly content and happy to go off on my own.  I'm also a pretty strong swimmer so I'm not worried.  Side note though, I 'm not entirely sure I can get back into the kayak should I actually tip over.  I have watched some video on how to reenter from the water but I've never actually tried it. 

So what are your hobbies?

Rabbit Hole

I used to pride myself on staying out of drama and gossip, not talking behind others backs.

I used to mind my own business.

Notice how I say "used to"

I have fallen down the rabbit hole. 

I fear there is no getting out of it.

I think part of why this has happened is because I want to be liked.  

Have said that I also have this "I don't give a shit what people think about me" attitude.  Which I have had for a very long time..but I still want to be liked.  Makes no sense

When I first started with this company there were very few employees and we all pretty much started at the same time.  Its larger now.

There are more people with different personalities and they don't all mesh so people talk about each other. 

I "used to" be very non-committal.  Just say "uummm" a lot of times...or "oh"  and not offer my opinion (which was never good anyway) or offer feedback. 

It seems that all I do now is gossip right back, offer feedback and my opinion (none of it is good either...still)

I think I have even stirred the pot a few times. 

I am not proud of my new found ability to gossip and get involved in drama but I also can't seem to stop it. 

How do you manage STRESS?

Here I am again, still living the stress free life. 

Kinda

Seriously who has a stress free life?  If that is you then we need to talk because I want to know your secret.

My life is not stress free however its a lot less stressful lately.

Being away from my main office and in my remote office give me some peace.

I was in our main office on Friday.  I felt stress.  I really like the majority of the people who work there, which I feel I have said numerous times.  There is one person that changes the dynamics of the office though. 

It only takes one person.

I have a feeling that this person is either going to quit or get fired.

I could use some tips on how to manage stress. 

Please comment... 

Stress be GONE!

An amazing thing happened yesterday.

I had a quiet, productive day, I left work at a reasonable time and went to the gym.  When I got home I still had energy and was in a good mood.

That hasn't happened in a long time.   I haven't felt that good in a long time.

Its funny how when you remove negativity from your life....even for one day (with the promise of more days to follow) that you life suddenly is better.   You feel lighter. 

I did make some connections at the main office.  Formed some bonds.  I have some feelings about not being there anymore.  I have concerns that I will loose those bonds...honestly I fear loosing my status there.  I feel like I have been built up alittle.  I have saved the day a few times, been a counselor and mentor. 

I feel like people tend to forget the good things you do when you don't see them for a while. 

Plus I'm not there every day now to wow them with my level head and knowledge. 

I can't have it both ways though. 

I would much rather have stress free days with no drama.

I have that back now. 

The Last Two Months...

The last two months are a blur.

I have been in another office training a new employee. 

I have felt completely displaced. 

The training went really well...mostly because the girl I was training is intelligent. 

However I have learned some things about our main office.  (I work out of a remote satellite office...kinda alone)

There is a employee at the main office that on one really likes.  And for good reason.  The person has become too big for their britches...is rude...and kinda a jerk.

I was at our main office longer than I anticipated.  But training was going well and I was enjoy the banter and socialize with the remaining office people.  The problem employee actually asked me on Friday when I was returning to the satellite office and if I didn't want to return they would be my seat there. 

NO...NOPE...HELL NO

That's not how this works.

I have seniority over this person.  However this person NEVER listens to me. 

By the time I left on Friday I was seeing red and wanted to scream.  I was then incredibly irritated all weekend...and I'm irritated that I left this person get to me. 

I am thankful that for the most part I am away from that office this week....with the except of two appointments later in the week. But I won't be staying there after the appointments are over.

ALSO...the person who was crying and complaining that I was mean all the time...got fired. 
I didn't fire her.
Who's mean now? 

When will it stop...

Work drama continues....

Its amazing how grown ass adults can act like children.

How do people like this get hired....who interviewed them?

I honestly feel that certain people have been hired out of desperation.  There is NO way in hell that after speak with this specific person that we actually thought the hire was a good idea.

I can't see how this employee could have faked it through an interview without their true colors coming out.

On any given day after speaking with this person for 5 minutes my head is spinning and wants to explode.

I have been in work for over half the day now...there is one co-worker...and ONLY one...who hasn't acknowledged that I am even in the building.

I can feel the hostility in the air.

Side note...this person will be happy to hear that I won't be in the office on Monday.  I have a long three day weekend...which is much needed and deserved.

I am hoping that our office staff will be permanently DOWN one person when I get back.

I have heard rumor that its in the works.

Trying NOT to be mean...

I have been working on NOT being mean.

I am finding it difficult so I guess that means deep down I am mean. 

Honestly, I don't think I'm mean.  Here is what I know...

• I have no patience
• I expect people around me to behave like adults
• I expect people around me to not be lazy (work and personal life)
• I expect a level of professionalism (this is a HUGE work issue)
• I expect to be respected

I guess these are my underlying issues...if you can call them that. 

Maybe its just that my expectations are to high. 

When the above "expectations" are not being met I get frustrated.  Which turns into short quick emails..just so I can get my point out and across which I guess is translated to "mean"
Well ya know what people...put on your big girl panties and suck it up like the rest of us instead of crying to the boss...because I worded something in a way that made you feel sensitive. 

It happens to all of us...I have NEVER gone running to any boss because someone spoke to me and made me feel shitty. 

If I did that I would worry that the people who made the comments would think that I couldn't handle pressure...or criticism or what I was just a whiny baby. 

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I THINK OF THIS PERSON AT MY PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT.
 

Once again...I'm mean

Have you ever said or done something that you wish you could take back.

I think this is my gift....the ability to open my mouth and just let whatever comes out...come out.

Or in this case whatever my little fingers type in an EMAIL

The thing about an email is you literally cannot take it back, you can't really talk your way out of it (if you can please let me know in the next 24 hours). 

An email can be forwarded. (fantastic)

Today, I meant to forward an email to a co-worker to complain about how the email from another coworker was sent to me.  Instead, in my haste, I REPLIED! 

The person that sent me the email already thinks I'm mean.  This person also seems to be overly emotional and takes everything personally.

There was an instance a few months ago where an email I sent to this person was forwarded to the bosses...where they agreed that I was kinda mean.  WTF

This will be the icing on the cake. 

I might be able to talk my way out of this one...if need be...and possible back pedal...but probably not. 

I also sent an immediate apology email right afterwards...claiming I'm sure the error wasn't this persons fault. 

I have had interactions with people who are SUPER nice..until you screw up...right...then when you screw up they throw you under the bus. 

In a round about way that is kinda what I did with my first "mean" email.  It appeared to backfire. 

Here's the thing....I am getting older.  I have completely lost my patience.  If someone is told something once and/or has been doing a job where they know that more information is needed before sending out an email then they should take care and do their job....but NO....they don't.

 I address it and all the sudden I'm mean.

Nope...I'm old.  I'm fed up.  I'm frustrated that some people are held to high standards than others.  Things I would never have been able to get away with other people are. 

So, I have already been told about my meanness...and its now happened again.  It will only become a thing if the recipient cries to the bosses. 

I have already lost my status as the favorite so might as well go down in flames.

April 1st we are bringing on two new employees who I was told I would have to help train.  LOL 

Guess not! 

Crying all the time...

Is it possible to change your chemical make up without medication? 

I need to do some research on this subject.

I'm way to emotional.  Most of the time for no good reason.  I cry when confronted...even if I'm completely in the right.  I cry during songs.  I cry during movies.  I cry when reading greeting cards.  I have even felt myself starting to tear up at work meetings.  (I fight those...I actually try to fight all of it)

I feel like I am a strong person.  I have been though some crap and came out of it ok for the most part.  I was in an abusive relationship and didn't cry this much.

Wikihow.com https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Yourself-from-Crying says you should do the following to stop yourself from crying easily...

Method 1 Stopping Yourself from Crying with Physical Actions

• Focus on your breathing.
• Move your eyes to control your tears.
• Distract yourself with a physical movement.
• Relax your facial expression.
• Remove the lump in your throat.

It goes on to say that changing your focus helps.  Thinking of something funny.  Remind yourself that your strong (that would probably make me cry...when I'm feeling emotional I can't think of me personally...the crying always gets worse then). 
Blame your tears on something else.  I have actually tried that one..doesn't work for me. 
Dry your tears discreetly (also doesn't work...when I cry I FACE CRY...there is no hiding it)
Remove yourself from the situation.  Most of the time not possible.

There are several other methods listed in this article.  I might have to delve deeper into some research.  I really need to find a solution.  A way to stop this crap. 

I don't want to be emotional.  Its alike I feel everything sometimes but I really just want to feel nothing.  And its not like I care about everything and everyone...I literally don't. 

SO that also makes this more of a mystery. 

So basically I don't think there is much I can do.    I shall continue my search.

Can you offer some words of wisdom or advice? 

Politically Correct

There is a lot of talk about political correctness lately.

I think a lot of it has to do with our President.  But it also has to do with the century/era we are living in.

I don't give a shit. 

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not walking about saying offensive things, degrading people or even being rude.  If you are talking about a subject and you are saying exactly how you are feeling then you should be able to safely say it.  I guess within reason.

I think there are also different levels and versions of political correctness.

When my mother was in physical rehab the aids/nurses that were taking care of her were of all different nationalities.  None of that matter (most of them sucked at their job) but the ones who were dark skinned my mother insisted on referring to them as "the colored girl".  They never heard her or were even aware she was saying that...at least I am 99% sure but I feel that was rude to say in general.   When I have told that story to friends...they say its the generation.  Still wrong but I agree

SO now with our generation its different.  We would never say anything like that.  As a matter of fact I think we are so politically correct that its almost offensive if we say anything. 

My mom has now moved into assist living.  When I tell people their response is always "I'm so sorry..that must have been a hard decision or hard on you"  Are they saying that to be politically correct too? 

Because it wasn't

It wasn't a hard decision and it hasn't been hard on me.

Its been a lot of work...searching, paperwork and moving her but that it.

My mom is old...she has become unstable when walking, she hasn't been eating properly or bathing properly.  This decision was a no brainer. 

So does that fall under the political correctness issues going on....

I have no idea...nor do I have any idea if this post even makes sense.

Doesn't have to either...

New Drama

I'm married!  Got married on Friday!  That's not the drama.  Just wanted to start this post off happy...something positive.

Now onto the drama

My mom is in a physical rehab facility.  THEY SUCK!
The physical rehab part is fine.  But the nursing staff is horrible.

My mom currently has an infection in her right leg.  Her left arm is red and itchy and its traveling to her breast.  The doctors/nurses don't seem to feel there is anything urgent.

My mother mental health is declining. She sounds incredibly depressed every time I talk to her.

I email and yell at the administrators of this facility all the time.  Demanding better care.

I literally have no idea what else to do. 

This is stressful and overwhelming. 

I really just want to get her out of there but then I don't know how I would care of her. 
UUUGGHHH

Any suggestions? 

Emotions

I have been an emotional person for a long time. 

By emotional, I'm the one that cries when reading birthday cards, at movies, listening to music, the drop of a hat....you know..the regular stuff.

I haven't always been emotional.  I was married before and I didn't cry during the ceremony (I am getting RE-MARRIED this Friday!) or anytime even after the ceremony.  I've cried at other peoples weddings, just not the ones I've been in so far.  I've had two children...didn't cry after giving birth to them. 

This wedding is going to be different.   First of all...I cry at everything so I feel its inevitable.  Second, this is literally the love of my life, we have been together 14 years on the 11th.  Our local Mayor is preforming the ceremony..it will be very small...just us but I guarantee there will be tears.  Happy tears. 

Having said that....my emotional state has kinda become a family joke.  (which is another reason why I'm kinda glad we aren't have people at this wedding).  Anytime anything mushy happens everyone stops and looks at me...at which point I am usually tearing up.  Then they all laugh.  It was funny in the beginning but I don't find it funny anymore. 

I'm getting up there in age and menopause is probably right around the corner so that might play a factor in my increased emotional state.  But its annoying.  Sometimes I find myself having a conversation with a co-worker about NOTHING IMPORTANT and suddenly have to stop and compose myself.  Its embarrassing. 

I almost wish there was a pill to take to turn it off.  Although I probably wouldn't take it anyway.

I have no idea where this comes from...my mother was never emotional.  The only time I've seen her cry is if she isn't getting her way (I kid you NOT).  My father passed away, I couldn't stop crying...I don't remember her crying at all.  She sold a house she lived in for 20 years..no tears, I cried.  I've seen her at funerals, weddings, meeting her grandchildren...nothing. Sometimes I think she might be emotionally void.  Even then...wouldn't something invoke a tear? 

I cry to much...I'm to emotional.  I want it to stop.

We have been re-watching the Vampire Diaries (guilty pleasure...I LOVE VAMPIRES..hehehe)
In this show, the vampires can flip an internal switch and turn off their emotions...all of them at the same time.  I want to learn how to do that....

Do you think that's a thing?  LOL